Most folks would probably agree that two words they never thought they'd see together were "Bikers" and "Poetry". These
two terms seam to be a little oxy-moronic (means two words that should never go together like "Military Intellegence" or "Jumbo
Shrimp"). Anyway, here's our attempt at a little culture (very little)...
ODE TO A PENIS
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job,
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave,
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!
A BIKER'S BLESSING TO YOU
May your hemorrhoids caress you,
May corns adorn your feet;
May crabs as big as lobsters,
Crawl on your balls to eat.
And when you're old and feeble,
And become a physical wreck;
May your head drop through your asshole,
And break your f@#@ing neck.
* THE VERY BEST BIKE!
There's been some yellin'
been some cussin'
there's been some fightin'
and been some fussin'.
The war's been long and hard and hot
has flowed lots more than not.
What's the beef and why the strife?
Why the gun and why the knife?
an ear and get a clue.
I'll tell it straight and tell it true.
I'll tell you why we're in this pickle
It's over what's
the very best motorsickle.
Some proclaim with all their might
that others are wrong and they are right
state that if you have the luck
the very best bike will have a knuck.
Others shout "ugh and yuck patooie"
with knucks are a little bit screwy.
These people shout throughout the land
"the very best bike must have a Pan."
Others shout "Pan? You must be crazy
and old and fat and slow and lazy.
Now go away home go back to your hovel
very best bike must have a shovel"
Then there's the ones that everyone dreads
the ones who say "you're out
of your heads.
Shovels are old they rattle and knock
the very best bike has an Evo block."
Still others say "blocks
are nuttin but crap.
They ain't no better than Italian or Jap.
I'd rather walk or own a foreign
than ride a bike
that don't have iron."
Others say "Iron? You're full of poop
listen here I've got the scoop.
On all the
bikes I've rode and sat
and the bestest one has a head that's flat."
After all that fumin and all that fun
might think maybe the fightin's done
but you've never heard such nasty names
as when the talk gets around to frames.
Some folks have rode from near to far
and looked at all the bikes there are.
Been where it's hot and been where
and the best bike they saw had a frame that's rigid.
Others hoot and laugh and snort.
they say "are for rides real short."
They've said it loud and they've said it oft
"the bestest bikes have a tail
Others scream "oh yeah that's funny"
and laugh and laugh til their eyes are runny.
rattle and shake and quake
til your legs go numb and your eyeballs ache.
Here's the truth there's nuttin finah
to ride and ride on a nice smooth Dyna."
That makes beer come out some guys noses.
Who say "they're good...for makin
The best damn frames there are by far
are the ones we know as FXR."
Others claim "it's plain to
that a real far rider you'll never be.
An FXR's no good at all
for a ride from from Maine to Arkansaw.
you wanna go long and not be a lagger
Yer gonna need a real nice bagger."
Another voice says "You must be
baggers are good...if you like slow pokin'.
I'll ride one myself when I'm old and warty.
Til then I'll stick
with my souped up Sporty."
I've thought about these fights a lot
and I know who's right and I know who's not.
close and hear from me.
I really think you might agree
that everyone knows
deep down in their bones
that the very
is the one he owns.
* YOU DON"T KNOW ME
Some think bikers are mean
Some dressed in leathers and others in jeans
You don't like our patches or the clothes
that we wear
You hate our bandannas and you hate our long hair
You don't like our scooters and our loud noisy pipes
think we're not loyal to the stars and stripes
You don't like our patches that are worn on our vests
You think we're
so different from all the rest
But the truth is, Mister, we're kind of alike
You drive a car and I ride a bike
have no tattoos painted on your arm
But we fought side by side over in Nam
So the next time your children are running
Enjoying their freedom and the fun that they've found
Remember us bikers and all that we do
We feed our lost
veterans, we're Red, white and blue !
We bring toys for tots and toys for a smile
By riding our bikes for miles
You see, us bikers have never forgot
Our homeless veterans and our homeless tots
We are loyal to our clubs
and true to our bro's
We will always wear black from our heads to our toes
Society once said that long hair was for
But you'll never see a biker burning a flag
Now the tattoos and leather you don't understand
Stands for free
independence that us bikers demand
Our long hair and patches and bikes with loud pipes
is a tribute to our freedom,
the Stars and Stripes
So before you make up your mind on just what I might be
Take a look in the mirror and what do
The man that you see that is staring right back
Is not too much different from that biker in black.