Most folks would probably agree that two words they never thought they'd see together were "Bikers" and "Poetry". These
two terms seam to be a little oxy-moronic (means two words that should never go together like "Military Intellegence" or "Jumbo
Shrimp"). Anyway, here's our attempt at a little culture (very little)...
ODE TO A PENIS
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job,
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave,
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!
A BIKER'S BLESSING TO YOU
May your hemorrhoids caress you,
May corns adorn your feet;
May crabs as big as lobsters,
Crawl on your balls to eat.
And when you're old and feeble,
And become a physical wreck;
May your head drop through your asshole,
And break your f@#@ing neck.
* THE VERY BEST BIKE!
There's been some yellin' there's
been some cussin' there's been some fightin' and been some fussin'. The war's been long and hard and hot blood
has flowed lots more than not. What's the beef and why the strife? Why the gun and why the knife? Lend
an ear and get a clue. I'll tell it straight and tell it true. I'll tell you why we're in this pickle It's over what's
the very best motorsickle. Some proclaim with all their might that others are wrong and they are right They
state that if you have the luck the very best bike will have a knuck. Others shout "ugh and yuck patooie" guys
with knucks are a little bit screwy. These people shout throughout the land "the very best bike must have a Pan."
Others shout "Pan? You must be crazy and old and fat and slow and lazy. Now go away home go back to your hovel the
very best bike must have a shovel" Then there's the ones that everyone dreads the ones who say "you're out
of your heads. Shovels are old they rattle and knock the very best bike has an Evo block."
Still others say "blocks
are nuttin but crap. They ain't no better than Italian or Jap. I'd rather walk or own a foreign than ride a bike
that don't have iron." Others say "Iron? You're full of poop listen here I've got the scoop. On all the
bikes I've rode and sat and the bestest one has a head that's flat." After all that fumin and all that fun you
might think maybe the fightin's done but you've never heard such nasty names as when the talk gets around to frames.
Some folks have rode from near to far and looked at all the bikes there are. Been where it's hot and been where
it's frigid and the best bike they saw had a frame that's rigid. Others hoot and laugh and snort. "Rigids"
they say "are for rides real short." They've said it loud and they've said it oft "the bestest bikes have a tail
that's soft." Others scream "oh yeah that's funny" and laugh and laugh til their eyes are runny. "Softtails
rattle and shake and quake til your legs go numb and your eyeballs ache. Here's the truth there's nuttin finah than
to ride and ride on a nice smooth Dyna."
That makes beer come out some guys noses. Who say "they're good...for makin
poses. The best damn frames there are by far are the ones we know as FXR." Others claim "it's plain to
see that a real far rider you'll never be. An FXR's no good at all for a ride from from Maine to Arkansaw. If
you wanna go long and not be a lagger Yer gonna need a real nice bagger." Another voice says "You must be
jokin' baggers are good...if you like slow pokin'. I'll ride one myself when I'm old and warty. Til then I'll stick
with my souped up Sporty."
I've thought about these fights a lot and I know who's right and I know who's not. Listen
close and hear from me. I really think you might agree that everyone knows deep down in their bones that the very
best bike is the one he owns.
* YOU DON"T KNOW ME
Some think bikers are mean Some dressed in leathers and others in jeans You don't like our patches or the clothes
that we wear You hate our bandannas and you hate our long hair You don't like our scooters and our loud noisy pipes You
think we're not loyal to the stars and stripes You don't like our patches that are worn on our vests You think we're
so different from all the rest But the truth is, Mister, we're kind of alike You drive a car and I ride a bike You
have no tattoos painted on your arm But we fought side by side over in Nam So the next time your children are running
around Enjoying their freedom and the fun that they've found Remember us bikers and all that we do We feed our lost
veterans, we're Red, white and blue ! We bring toys for tots and toys for a smile By riding our bikes for miles
and miles You see, us bikers have never forgot Our homeless veterans and our homeless tots We are loyal to our clubs
and true to our bro's We will always wear black from our heads to our toes Society once said that long hair was for
fags But you'll never see a biker burning a flag Now the tattoos and leather you don't understand Stands for free
independence that us bikers demand Our long hair and patches and bikes with loud pipes is a tribute to our freedom,
the Stars and Stripes So before you make up your mind on just what I might be Take a look in the mirror and what do
you see? The man that you see that is staring right back Is not too much different from that biker in black.
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